9. Plan your day and night
I was always afraid of my urges and feeling temptation to PMO. In the past attempts to quit I have always eventually given into my urges and have always felt that my urges were too powerful for me to deal with. I would see opportunities to PMO looking in the future and even if I was trying to abstain I knew deep down inside I would break once those opportunities arrived. I always had this feeling deep down inside that I had already decided to give in even though I did not want to, I felt powerless.
Part of learning to take my power back and to not fear the future urges that will come up is to have a plan for my morning and my evening. This allowed me to block out my time and commit to a path that does not allow a bunch of idle time or allow me to do things that intensify PMO urges.
Having a schedule and sticking to it requires discipline and follow through. It is easy to make a plan and then simply not stick to it. This only works if you back it up with action. Since you have decided to implement my Monk mode protocol then having the discipline to have a schedule should be fairly straight forward.
My mornings are sacred, if I do not take advantage of the early morning then I won't have time for myself for the rest of the day up until an hour before bedtime. With a wife, 2 little kids, and a full time career, I do not have a lot of time for myself. If I dominate my morning routine I set myself up for the best day possible..
This is my perfect morning routine:
4AM Wakeup, floss and brush teeth
415-430, Affirmations, read spiritual text, pray
430-445, Journal
445-530, Work on Inner Light Guide
530-545, Meditation
545-630, Exercise
630-7, Cold shower, shave, wash face
7-8 Healthy breakfast
8-830 Drive girls to school
830-9 Sit out in the sun, Read, journal
9-920 Get ready for work, leave for work
920-950 Call and talk to friend or family member or listen to educational or inspirational content
Notice I said this is my perfect morning routine, it does not always sgo as planned, things come up, times shift, etc… But when I have a plan I am much more likely to stick to it and I have a goal to shoot for. The bottom line for me is that when I do not allow a bunch of extra ideal time, and I fill my time with activities that make me feel good, I am much less tempted to PMO. Again if I know what I am going to be doing it helps to deal with the fear of the unknown urge to PMO lurking around the corner.
Now here is an example of my perfect nighttime routine:
6PM-630 Drive home, listen to educational or inspirational content or call a friend or family member
630-7 Eat dinner with wife
7-730 Get girls down for bed
730-8 Get ready for bed, Wash face, brush teeth
8 Turn bedside light to red, use blue light blocker glasses if watching a show with wife
8-845 if not watching a show, journal, read in the dark with amber reading light
845-9 lights out, bedtime
I find comfort in having a plan because it takes the guesswork out of my morning and evening. There was a long time with PMO where I felt petrified of my urges because I felt that I had very limited control over them. I can’t tell you how many times I would have a loose plan to go work out in the morning, but instead go plant my ass in front of my PC and goon instead. Or I would allow too much free time in the evening instead of structuring my night and would inevitably PMO.
If you know you triggers as mentioned in the previous article, have come up with a plan to deal with them, and then couple that with a morning and evening routine (and day time routine if needed, typically I am at work all day so I am occupied but if that’s not the case for you absolutely come up with a solid daytime routine), then you are well on your way tpo learning how to deal with urges and take action when they occur. This will train your body and your mind to do things a different way and to not be controlled by urges, that are going to become a lot weaker with time.
Immediate action steps:
Get your journal and pen
Write your perfect morning and evening routine (and make it achievable)
Write a daytime routine as well if applicable
Commit to sticking to your routine
Modify it as needed
This is about progress not perfection, do not beat yourself up if you fall short of your routine, just do the best you can and try to beat yesterday's score
PRO TIP: If you have a block of free time coming in your near future and you are worried about PMO relapse, follow the above practice and write a specific routine for that block of time and then stick to it, do not second guess it, until the time period has elapsed that you were uneasy about.
