4. Brutal self honesty about your PMO career

I is absolutely critical that you want to and are willing to quit PMO. If you’re like me you have tried many times in the past and always eventually gone back to it, no matter how many days of abstinence you’ve experienced. Until 2025 I have never been able to stay away from PMO or MO for more than 3-6 weeks at a time, and even then it was rare I would accomplish that.

One of the things I have always struggled with is romanticizing my porn use and having a lot of euphoric recall about it. I have used so many excuses just to take one last peek that leads to a binge maybe you are familiar with some of these?

-I just miss (insert your preferred porn starts name here)’s smile so much, I just want to see her sexy faces and that spread one last time.

-I just want to see if I can get it up and throb for awhile.

-I want to see how hard my dick can get.

-This is totally normal and healthy, I’m just a super sexual guy and its ok to appreciate female beauty.

-I deserve to be able to look at naked women whenever I want there is nothing abnormal about it.

-Women are the most beautiful sight on the planet and I have the ability to see a ton of them naked why wouldn’t I take advantage?

-I just want to be lost in edging and pleasure I want to change my state and have an intense experience.

-I just need to blow off some steam.

-I just want to escape.

-My spouse isn’t sexual like I am and will never do the things I want her to do, if she wont take care of me sexually so I have to do it myself.

If you truly want to quit PMO and you are willing to do what it takes, then you have to learn to be brutally self honest. You have to speak, write, think and feel the truth deep down in your bones about your PMO use. What is it really like? What are the absolute worst things you’ve done to chase a PMO high? You have to admit what you have done, own what you have done, and make sure you keep that in the forefront of your mind. Any time you start to feel tempted it is critical to remember why you want to/have quit.

This is the brutal truth about my own PMO use:

I escalate to content that is risky and incredibly shame inducing

I view content that is incongruous with my values and how I want to live my life as a Man

I lose sleep due to my PMO use

I call in to work sick due to being locked in PMO Binges

I avoid intimacy and vulnerability with my wife

I am more irritable with my kids

I get horrible PMO induced headaches

I have intense hangovers from PMO Binges that include anxiety, paranoia, and severe depression

I have spent a lot of money on porn websites and sex toys

I have squandered countless hours of free time that I could have been doing something productive

I have missed opportunities and connections with others due to my isolating to PMO

I have lived a double life since childhood, I have hidden who I am from everyone

I have done things in my real life to be sexually excited that would be severely frowned upon by others if found out

I have hurt my penis and rectum from long durations of stimulation

Due to frequent masturbation I have developed death grip and have been unable to perform and thus missed out on multiple sexual opportunities

I see everyone as objects and spend all day undressing everyone in my head an imagining sexual scenarios with them

I spend my waking hours and focus planning my next PMO binge, what genres am I going to look at, which porn stars, what am I going to finish too, etc…

I have been willing to risk my health, my family, my professional reputation, my marriage, and my self respect, all to chase the next PMO high

You get the point, The purpose of the brutal self honesty is to be very real and factual about your PMO career. In the next exercise you will write in your journal about what exactly you have done to service your PMO addiction and what it has cost you, this will help cement your willingness to quit deep inside your being, which is very important when temptation strikes, whether your days, months, or years free of it.

Action Steps:

1. Get your journal and pen

2. Write a brutally honest list of the following

   1. What are the absolute worst things you have done to service your addiction? be very specific list those extreme genres of porn you have used, write them down on the page even if they are illegal or unethical, what behaviors have you done to act out sexually? list the things you have done chasing a PMO high to act out sexually no matter how bad they are, write them down

   2. What has your PMO use cost you? Write every thing down, how has it impacted your health, sanity, your career, your family, your marriage or relationship, your kids, etc…

3. Once you have written everything down sparing no details, as brutally honest as possible, go ahead and read it. Take in each word, let the gravity of what you have written sink into you, face the truth fully.

4. This is your why, this list is why you are willing to go to any length to quit, you are going to lose everything if you don’t.

5. If you have a Man in your life you can share this list with that is highly advisable, what I have found for myself is I am able to share bits and pieces of mine with a few different guys, this will help to air out the shame and take the power away from it. If you don’t have any guys, you could always try to go find a priest and do confession (you don’t have to be Catholic). If not just be willing to share organically as time goes on, you may find yourself in a conversation where you can talk about it, be open to conversations.

6. Either keep your list and reference it when you feel tempted, or burn it if you feel like it is to risky to keep written down, either way accept the facts of your PMO use and burn it into your being why you must quit ASAP.

7. Any time you are engaging in PMO as you are getting ready to quit, or any time temptation strikes while you are abstaining, do not bullshit yourself, do not negotiate with excuses, remind yourself of the worst things you have done and admit the truth, your PMO addiction is destroying your life and that you have done things tat prove you are totally out of control with PMO.

   1. Example: Anytime I start thinking about a certain star, or scene, or vagina, and feels those euphoric memories ,I stop the thoughts in their tracks and I viscerally feel the last horrible PMO binge I went on, the extreme content I looked at, and the horrible feelings of self hatred it caused. I can look at that binge and very clearly see that I was willing to totally lose everything for an empty high, that my addiction warped my thinking, and that I am lucky to be here now on the other side of it without some of the more severe consequences I was headed toward.

8. Do not take this lightly, if you are still using PMO but truly wanting to break free, keep facing yourself and the truth of your addiction. You are building momentum and on the precipice of permanent change.