2. Be Mindful about masturbating
Mindfulness is something I have heard mentioned all over the place for years, to the point where I kind of ignored it. It didn't seem like it was for me or like it really mattered. I tried to do guided meditation here and there, maybe visualize a healing orb of light going through my body or something, but never really got much out of it. Mindfulness seemed more like a buzzword than a real helpful practice.
That was until I was introduced to Zen Buddhism and learned how to practice Zazen (Seated meditation ) through this practice I learned what mindfulness actually is. I discovered that it is possible to cultivate a space between urge and action, that through meditation I could stop addictive auto pilot behaviors from occurring and make another choice. I also discovered that I do not need to believe meditation will work, I do not to sit for an hour a day, and that if I simply keep an open mind and practice consistently, whether I do 10 seconds of breathing or 15 minutes in a day, it makes a positive impact on my mind.
Along with saying Grace before, during, or after I used PMO the other practice I do while still in the midst of hardcore PMO addiction is to begin a daily meditation practice. The only rule I would follow is I would not meditate intoxicated, and I would always try to start my day off with meditation. In other words, I would not PMO before meditating as much as possible (meditating after PMO is better than nothing, but try to always meditate first).
Even while knee deep in PMO addiction meditation will start to take a foot hold in your life if you consistently practice. What you will find is that an internal buffer is created and becomes bigger as you log more time meditating. No matter how bad you feel like you are doing, or how severe your PMO addiction, just keep consistently practicing meditation and a shift will occur that will enable you to move beyond your addiction in the very near future.
Immediate Action Steps:
Setup a mediation corner, this can be with a proper meditation cushion, normal pillow or a chair, the main thing is you are able to sit comfortably with an erect spine. Here is a picture of my corner, I use this cushion set specifically and love it.
My very simple meditation corner in my basement
https://moonleap.com/large-meditation-cushion-mat-wedges-hand-cushion-set
These pictures show my posture, crossed legs (I call it 1/4 lotus position), and hand position. I need the knee wedges to connect my knees to the mat, and I like the hand pillow as well. I use a sheet to close myself off in the corner and give me non stimulating to look at while meditating.
I sit with my hips elevated and thighs pointed down towards ground. Erect spine and neck, relaxed but solid.
I’m using one hand to take picture, otherwise I have both resting on pillow. My legs are crossed comfortably, I do work on flexibility in my hips and legs which makes sitting much easier.
Face a wall or curtain, something solid that is not distracting.
Use a timer for your meditation setting, I use the phone app Insight Timer, if you have never meditated before I suggest starting with 5 minute sessions, once comfortable go to 10, then ultimately 15 plus per day.
When the timer starts and you are in your crossed legged, seiza, or seated position, start to breath. Breath through your nose, down into your belly, then exhale through your nose. Keep your eyes open and looking forward right into the wall, or screen that you have in front of you. Try to find the gap between your thoughts, the quiet space that opens up inside when you exhale. Do not judge yourself for thinking, any time you realize you are following your thoughts, stop and come back to focusing on your breath.
I heard a great quote from a Buddhist Monk: “Your mind is like the sky and your thoughts are like the clouds, the goal in meditation is to be the sky
The main key is consistency, also don't worry about doing it perfect, if you don't have a meditation cushion use a pillow, if you don't have a meditation corner, just use a wall, don't allow excuses to stop you, now go do it!
